My Students are Special

Damn Parents

This is from the introduction in a student’s essay. This is a 7th grade boy. I’ll let you decide how much help you think he got from his parents.

“…The following will point out how the author utilizes these historical facts about Alcatraz. Secondly, the latter discussion will illustrate how the author utilizes true facts about Al Capone… Not only was the author successful in writing such an interesting book, but she was able to capture the true essence of both Alcatraz and Al Capone.”

I know this kid. He did not write that.

H, out.

 

Like Literally?

“Are you being like literally?” – one if my students today

Apparently literally is now an adjective.

H, out.

Home Stays at Home

I pride myself on having always been able to keep my home life at home. Lately, I’ve been snapping on my students a lot more. Well, the same students, but pretty serious snapping. A lot of the stuff that used to roll of my shoulder makes my blood boil now. I am going through some things, but I need a good old fashioned reminder that home stays home. I need to really evaluated if I am I really that mad at the kid.

I’m going to try a meditation technique a friend told me about. Every time someone at work pisses me off, I need to physically write down something positive about that person.

Wish me luck y’all.

H, out.

Get in the Kitchen

In response to the journal question, “how would you feel if you were beat by a girl in race?”

One of my wonderful seventh grade boys responded as such:

“I would be mad because she’s a girl. They are supposed to cook and clean.”

Really?

H, out.

Bridge to Terabithia

Getting boys to read is murder. They are so stubborn; it’s ridiculous. The books I use in class are almost all exclusively geared towards boys as the protagonists are almost always male. The fact is, most girls will read anything.

Bridge to Terabithia is a book where it could really go either way. While the protagonist is male, there are a lot of things that turn boys against the book. For one, it’s set in the 60s or 70s, so some of the language used sounds weird, and the technology is obsolete.  Being set “back in the day” isn’t always a bad thing as long as the rest of the story is captivating. Then, he befriends a girl, and she becomes his ONLY friend. Again, still not entirely a deal breaker, but the girl is a weirdo if we are being honest. (I know she dies and is cremated at the end of the story, and I sound evil for calling her weird, but seriously…) And as 7th graders, they aren’t really into (admitting that they have) imagination.

Anyhow, I just finished up with this book, and most of the boys liked it, but I had a few who did not care for it one bit. I had one student who ABSOLUTELY HATED it, and it was hilarious. The second to last day of reading, he shouted at the end of the period, “WE’RE NOT DONE YET? I HATE THIS BOOK!” The next day, he had a meltdown when we finished it because he found out we were watching the movie. He really, really loathed this book. But what he really hated the most was Leslie.

I assigned a multi-genre project, and one of the options they could choose from was to make three 3D models with cards explaining why that item was important to the story. The day it was due, he brought in a 3D model of Jesse (the main character) made out of paper, and he said he had Leslie at home and would bring it in the next day. “The next day” comes around, and he spends the first 10 minutes laughing hysterically in the corner. This particular student has a strange-sounding laugh and almost always tears up during his fits of laughter. So he finally brings up the rest of his project, but he’s hiding it behind his back. With a devious look in his eyes, he says, “I have Leslie.”

He had decided that, instead of turning in his paper 3D model of Leslie that he’d made, he would just burn it. From behind his back, he produces a Ziploc bag full of ashes. I literally LI’TRALLY (a la Parks & Rec) stared at him in shock for about three minutes before I took it. While it was incredibly wrong and incredibly creepy, you’ve got to give him points for thinking outside of the box… way, way outside the box.

H, out.

Is this real life?

I work in a town where this is socially acceptable. I took this picture in the parking lot of the Wal-mart in town.

H, out.

Shelfari

Shelfari is a social networking website for readers. It allows you to rate books, show everyone what you’re reading, see what your friends are reading, buy books through Amazon, etc etc.

I am using it for class, and today I put an online discussion for The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman which my advanced kids are reading. It’s kind of ridiculously awesome. Seriously, if you teach Reading, get on Shelfari now and make your kids use it. It’s on their level, and it helps make them excited about reading!

H, out.

Fall Twitter Posts

11/16/11: Raise your hand if you farted in front of a student today. Oh just me?

11/16/11: Grades are finalized. Going to bed.

11/15/11: Every time I schedule a newspaper meeting there’s a two hour delay

11/9/11: I left for work 12 hrs ago. Just got home. And now, more grading. Superintendent Tony Bennett, you can suck it if you really think standardized testing is all there is to teaching.

11/9/11: I’m not the demographic for these AM technology meetings

11/8/11: I’m having a meltdown about grading these damn journals. I only have 4 left. (Well, there are about 100 more at school.) #Ineedwine

11/8/11: The only explanation for how much stuff I have to grade before the grading period ends is that I hate myself.

11/3/11: Real life student question: “What’s your last name?”

10/27/11: And then, “What’s a VHS?” And now, “What’s a Walkman?” These kids make feel old

10/27/11: ‎”What’s a VCR?” -one of my students. Is this real life?

10/25/11: That awkward moment during a teacher meeting when you say “meth is a hell of a drug” when talking about a parent you met at conferences

10/25/11: Wow. My 8th period class is full of Satan’s spawns. #ineedwine

10/24/11: Did you trip and scream while walking through a parent meeting today? Oh, just me? #Monday

10/24/11: I’m sweating like a British prostitute which is normally acceptable, but not during parent teacher conferences. #Ineedwater

10/20/11: ‎”What? We are rubbing our wenises together.” -7th grade boy

10/5/11: Raise your hand if you read the word “shark” as “shart” aloud in front of 7th graders. Oh just me?

10/5/11: I felt like Hitler because all he does is yell. -One of my 7th grade boys

10/4/11: Just heard a 7th grader refer to his “man titties”

9/20/11: Student to me: “Do you know what a slut is?”

9/19/11: One of my students today said this: “That’s because you’re from the hood.” Woah. #whitepeople

9/16/11: Today is Black Out Day for school spirit. Yes, my principal had to announce yesterday that coming to school in black face was not okay. #whitepeople

9/16/11: I’ve seen two “rebel” flags in the last 3 minutes. One in a garage. One on a VW bug.

9/8/11: A student to me last week: “You went to college??!!”

9/7/11: The assistant superintendent def just thought I was a student. #blackdontcrack

8/31/11: School lunch. Never again. I need to hurl. #thirdtimeisnotacharm

8/23/11: ‎7th grade open house tonight. My room is popular. Apparently, I’m a cool teacher. #backtoschool

8/19/11: I don’t understand how to use my smart board. #firstworldproblems

8/18/11: First period over. I love 7th graders.

H, out.

Recruited by Suzanne Weyn

Good moment today.

I got this book called Recruited by Suzanne Weyn from Scholastic for free.

One of my boys who I have to force to read borrowed it about 9 days ago and just finished it. He closed it, smiled, and said, “Wow, that was a good book. How long did I have it? 9 days? Wow, that was a good book.”

It was beautiful. Thanks Suzanne!